Marriage is hard work.  There is just no getting around that fact.  If that wasn’t the case there wouldn’t be the staggeringly high divorce rates we see.  There is no 10 step formula that will guarantee marriage success, no “how to stay happily married with these 3 steps”.

It’s natural for people to gravitate to the quick fix (know anyone who’s ever bought the latest fitness gizmo that’s on late night TV infomercials?).  However in any relationship, and particularly in marriage, there isn’t a step by step linear plan to having the marriage live up to the wedding.  It’s messy, it’s hard and it takes a tremendous amount of effort.

That said it IS possible to have an extraordinary marriage.  Not just possible but very achievable.  But it means not thinking that it’s going to be a quick fix.  Anything really of value in life takes effort.

Find couples with great marriages and see what they do, and do those things yourselves.  It may take time.  Like getting in shape, if you spent 10 years getting out of shape you can’t reasonably expect to be in fantastic shape in a week.  But with consistent effort applying the correct principals (“Oh, so if I eat less and move more I’ll be in better shape?  Got it.  Check!”) over time you will find your relationship shine.  Just be realistic that there will be setbacks, rough times along with the good times.  That’s natural and to be expected.  Stay with it.  Read about how to have a great marriage.  A lot.  Hang out with other couples that want to have outstanding marriages.  Attend marriage conferences together.  To have something different than the average marriage (which ends in divorce), you have to be willing to do things differently than the average couple.  Do it!