What Kind of Marriage Do You Want?

By Chris HannPost

In Stephen Covey’s highly acclaimed and successful book, The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, he outlined the first two Habits of success as follows:

  • Be Proactive
  • Begin With The End In Mind

With regards to our marriages most of us don’t usually put a lot of thought or “vision” into the kind of marriage relationship we want.  We fall in love, get married and go about the business of life and sort of just let life happen to us (the opposite of Covey’s first habit, being proactive).  And in terms of a “vision” for how we want our marriages to be, most just expect it to work out.  But does that seem logical?  Take the example of a trip you are going to take, let’s say from Los Angeles to New York City.  If you just got in your car and started driving randomly (“Hmm, what’s that over there?  Think I’ll take a left turn …”) what are the chances that you would reach the end goal of New York City?  Zip, zero, zilch, nada, goose egg – it’s just not happening.

So why approach our lives and specifically our marriages in the same way?  To “Begin With The End In Mind” for our hypothetical drive to New York, we would need to know where we want to end up (New York City) and then plan the route for how we’re going to get there.  Although there might be construction detours along the way, you might get a flat tire or other obstacles could occur, the chances of getting to New York City are actually excellent.

So what does that look like in our marriages?  What is the vision you have for your relationship?  If you want it to be extraordinary what does that look like specifically?  How do you treat each other?  How is conflict dealt with?  What will you do together?  Will you be true “life-partners” doing life together and living a great adventure? Or will you just roll along with the “currents” of life and what happens to you and your spouse along the way?  As Winston Churchill so eloquently stated, “We are still masters of our fate.  We are still captains of our souls.”

What kind of marriage do you want to have? A fantastic one or an average one? The difference lies in the vision you have and the actions you take.  We encourage you to make it extraordinary!